This blog is about why I started writing. During my unemployed phase, my mind became crowded with thoughts and overthinking. Drawing and talking didn’t help, but writing did. It helped me clear my mind, understand myself, and deal with the fear of being judged. Starting felt late, but I finally realised it’s better to begin now than wait forever.
For the past few months, my mind has been in a strange place. I’m currently unemployed, and for the first time in a long time, I have a lot of free time. At first, I thought this break would help me reset. But what actually happened was the opposite, my mind became louder.
When you’re busy, you don’t have time to think about unnecessary things. But when you’re free, even small thoughts grow, and that’s exactly what happened to me. Some days felt normal, but most days felt mentally cluttered. I woke up with thoughts, went through the day with thoughts, and ended the night with even more thoughts.
I didn’t have many people I could talk to about what I was thinking. And even when I tried opening up to someone, it didn’t feel like the right match. They didn’t understand the way I process things. So slowly, I stopped sharing and kept everything inside.
For a long time, drawing was my escape. Whenever my mind felt heavy, I would draw something. It helped for a while, but drawing didn’t clear my thoughts, it only distracted me from them. A drawing is open to interpretation. Everyone sees it differently, and even I see my own drawings differently when I look at them later. It never gave me clarity; it just gave me a temporary shift of focus.
I also thought about vlogging. Sharing things on camera sounded interesting, but I’m not ready for the camera yet. I still have insecurities I need to work on. Maybe in the future, but not now.
That’s when I came across blogging. No camera. No performance. No pressure to look presentable. Just me and my thoughts. I wrote a few lines one day, and it felt surprisingly good. Writing didn’t solve my problems, but it helped me understand them. It slowed my thoughts down and helped me think clearly instead of constantly.
For the first time in weeks, I felt like I finally had a place to put the thoughts that were crowding my mind.
But let me be honest: I could have started blogging a long time ago. I didn’t, not because I didn’t want to, but because I was scared.
Scared of being judged. Scared of writing something stupid. Scared of people I know reading it. Scared of someone laughing at my thoughts. Scared of starting late. And mostly, scared of showing the real me.
I’ll talk about how I overcame these fears in my next blog.
The best time to plant a tree was ten years ago.
The second-best time is today.
I’ve heard this quote many times, but this time it felt personal. It made me realise something simple: I can keep thinking about starting, or I can just start.
So, I’m starting. Not because everything is perfect. Not because I know what I’m doing. Not because I’m confident. But because writing makes me feel a little lighter.
I don’t know where this blogging journey will go. I don’t know who will read this. I don’t know if I will write every week or once in a while. What I do know is that writing helps me understand myself better. And right now, that’s enough.
This is Blog #2.
A small beginning, but a meaningful one.
